Dear Abbe,
When I tell people about my research on nanorods, invariably they drift to looking at their various electronic devices, or close their eyes and rock back and forth. I suspect I am a rather boring person. Is there a way to tell? How can I solve the problem without making stuff up just to give it pizzazz?
Listless Languor in Leicester
Dear Boring,
Es tut mir Leid. It's not you per se. I keep trying to re-read the question you ask but doze off each time I reach “nanorods.” I'm afraid there are some topics that create what seems like eternal ennui. Like that stretch of interstate road through Iowa and the Dakotas in the USA; I'm afraid the once-exciting world of nano-this and nano-that has entered that realm. But not to despair, several topics have become substitutes to invoke Morpheus. For example: bacterial ultrastructure, Father Brown Mysteries, and any post-1980 Star Trek episode… the list could go on, but I don't wish to bore you. Just your luck, there is an outlet for your ramblings. Sign up for the Boring Conference (boringconference.com) and find out how to become trendy in your tedious storytelling. They cover such unexciting things as “sneezing, toast, and Comic Sans font.” They claim that things appearing to be mundane, ordinary, or pointless will become deeply fascinating when examined closely. I bet you find a whole new audience and fellow Schlummers with these folks.
Need a scapegoat for your troubles? Need some questionable and possibly life-threatening advice to liven up your love life? Herr Abbe is in there like swimwear! Just give him a try at johnshields59@gmail.com.
