Dear Abbe,
I have recently discovered a new source of grant money and thus, fulfillment: exosomes! While they are nothing new, what I think is new is the sheer number of students I can get working on these, and therefore more lab space I can justifiably assimilate. One of my primary means of visualizing exosomes is negative staining with TEM. This has prompted some reviewers to complain that my papers are too negative and that I need more positive results. What to do?
Excited in Exeter
Dear Excited,
Ach! I do understand your problem. I have endured negative ninnies for many decades now. But do not fear! Positive outcomes are close at hand. Exosomes are tiny little bundles of cell guts (I'd use “nanoparticle,” but that word is so overused. I expect it to show up in shampoo commercials any day.). These cell guts are full of proteins, DNA, RNA, and several other acronyms; you just need to use all those students to hunt for these specific little bundles and separate them from neurons! What you want are ones containing all the pick-a-letter NAs and neurotransmitters. These are really mobile synapses with the added excitement of genetic information. Get some loaded with oxytocin and introduce them into the negative reviewers’ nasal spray (to fight mental congestion). They'll be euphoric with your next paper and you'll be “Stardenburdenhardenbart”!
Problems with negative reviewers and finding new uses for popular research? Ask Dear Abbe through his assistant at johnshields59@gmail.com! He'll be sure to create a positive vibe.
