A paradox lies at the heart of the biennial Southeast Asian (SEA) Games. On the one hand, the region's premier sporting event has consistently celebrated themes of regional friendship and cooperation; on the other, the SEA Games are synonymous with controversy and poor sportsmanship, especially over the strategic selection of sports by host nations. Yet the Games go on – every second year – just as they have done since 1959. In introducing sport to existing debates on regional community in Southeast Asia, this article seeks to understand the key features of the sporting community of the Southeast Asian Games, particularly the emergence and development of the institutions and norms that help this event to thrive in the face of national self-interest. Through this analysis, the article argues for a distinctive approach to regional community in Southeast Asia, based not on notions of unity but principles of reciprocity and exchange.