In response to the contradictions appearing between, on the one hand, government promotion of family caregiving for elderly parents and, on the other, the rise of autonomist values (as documented in the literature), we surveyed a number of elderly people living with disabilities about the kind of assistance they would like to receive. The present qualitative, thematic analysis is based on the accounts given by 19 elderly people who receive assistance. The findings show that the position of elderly people with respect to their desire to receive (or not receive) substantial assistance from their family rests on a set of values, wishes, and/or fears – including, particularly, adherence to the value of autonomy, the desire to respect freedom (one's own as well as that of others), adherence to norms of familial duty, attachment to one's home, the value placed on solitude and privacy, and the degree of emotional closeness between the elderly and their children. Access to quality formal services also stands out as a factor enabling elderly people to actualize the desire for care which they elicited within the framework of this analysis.