Drawing on the accounts given by 163 relatives, friends and others who knew a sample of people who lived alone in the last twelve months of their lives, this paper examines a variety of strategies used by speakers to maintain their moral identities. Respondents sought to locate themselves as members of a community of care by stressing their activity in surveillance of the living conditions of those who lived alone, describing their part in the orchestration of help by members of a team of professional and lay carers, and in conducting negotiations over the placement in institutions of people who failed to maintain adequate reputations for independent living. A variety of strategies for justifying or excusing placement decisions—including criticisms of the behaviour of the people who lived alone—are described. At the same time, the accounts are read as a resource for understanding the perspective of the people who lived alone. People who live alone towards the end of life face particularly pressing threats to their capacity to maintain meaning and purpose. Declining physical capacity threatens loss of control and the onset of social death, conspiring to undermine ontological security. The struggle to maintain a reputation for independence in the face of neighbourly surveillance for signs of slippage is described. The paper concludes by identifying a central dilemma for carers: how to provide care that allows its recipient to manage self-identity independently.