Chapter 12 is the first of two that deal with reactive politeness in intercultural contexts: the issues associated with handling relations when an offence has been perceived or when a disagreement/conflict has occurred or is emerging. The chapter focuses on situations in which one or both parties want to restore relations and considers how cultural factors may influence the process. Normally (although not exclusively), apologies are used to (try to) restore smooth relations. Unfortunately, there has been very little research into apologies from an evaluation perspective, neither prior to an apology (i.e. assessments relating to the behaviour that triggers the potential need for an apology) nor subsequent to an apology (i.e. whether the apology is accepted and smooth relations are restored). The chapter explores the potential impact of culture on the restoration process from three angles: culture and reactive assessments of an offence; culture and the performance of an apology; culture and the effectiveness of the apology.

This chapter provides an overview of Part III of the book and outlines the book’s conceptualisation of managing intercultural politeness; that is, managing interpersonal relations across cultures. The chapter approaches the issue from two angles: reactive and proactive politeness. The authors interpret reactive politeness as the behaviour that is instigated by (and hence responds to) an offence and the authors propose that it entails three key elements: perception of an offence; response to that offence; the consequences of that response. In practical terms, this involves apologies, disagreement and conflict. The chapter interprets proactive politeness as the behaviour that seeks to avoid an offence occurring in the first place, as well as behaviour aimed at establishing and building a new relationship. The former is core to traditional politeness theory, but the latter has been studied far less and needs more empirical research and theorising. The chapter ends by overviewing two key cognitive orientations – mindfulness–mindlessness and convergent–divergent accommodation – that, while relevant to all aspects of intercultural politeness, are especially important for managing intercultural politeness.