Letter XLIX

Summary

To a Brother too captious to bear himself the Ridicule he practises upon others.

Dear Jack,

I am glad to find you improve both in Thought and Speech. You know I am no Witch at either: But so as we have some Wit in our Family, no matter who is at the Trouble of carrying it for what he’ll get by it. I suppose you thought to give no small Pleasure to the Company last Night by your facetious Flings at all around you, not excepting the Parson himself: But should you not have considered, that every one in the Room had a Right to return the Freedom you took, in the best manner he was able? Was it therefore well in you to resent so warmly as you did, a smart Remark made by Mr. Crispe, on a palpable Blunder of your own, when you had taken so much Liberty with him, as well as every body else, just before? Indeed, Brother, you must either lay aside Ridicule, or learn to bear it better; and in the present Case you should have remember’d, that, in the manner you began with that Gentleman, it was not possible for him to say any thing it would have been your Credit to resent. A Retort on these Occasions must be excused, tho’ fraught with Resentment; for a Man is not always in a Humour to be jested with, and it is the Duty of him who begins, to take what follows. Your failing in this known Rule, whatever you may think, has made you appear in so mean a Light to the whole Company, that all your Acuteness will not in haste atone for it.

If I judge rightly, nothing is more delicate than Ridicule: Where it is conducted with Prudence and Humour, it is sure to please even the Man who is the Subject of it, if he is not of a morose Temper: But when, instead of that, personal Failings, or private Indiscretions, are exposed for the Entertainment of a Company, tho’ youmay think to raise a Laugh by it in the Unreflecting, it will bring upon you the Censure of the Considerate. It is our Duty to consult what we can bear ourselves, as well as what we can inflict on others.