Skip to main content Accessibility help

We use cookies to distinguish you from other users and to provide you with a better experience on our websites. Close this message to accept cookies or find out how to manage your cookie settings.

Close cookie message
×
Hostname: page-component-cd9895bd7-p9bg8 Total loading time: 0 Render date: 2024-12-26T22:10:14.540Z Has data issue: false hasContentIssue false

7 - Partner Buffering in Interdependent Relationships

An Attachment Perspective

from Part II - Interdependence, Security, and Risk

Published online by Cambridge University Press:  19 June 2020

By
Monique S. Nakamura ,
Jeffry A. Simpson  and
Nickola C. Overall
Edited by
Laura V. Machia ,
Christopher R. Agnew  and
Ximena B. Arriaga
Laura V. Machia
Affiliation:
Syracuse University, New York
Christopher R. Agnew
Affiliation:
Purdue University, Indiana
Ximena B. Arriaga
Affiliation:
Purdue University, Indiana
Get access

Summary

Insecurely attached people have less happy, more unstable romantic relationships, but the quality of their relationships should depend on how their partners regulate them. Some partners find ways to buffer (emotionally and behaviorally regulate) insecurely attached individuals, which can make them feel better, behave more constructively, and improve their relationships. Understanding when, how, and why this important interpersonal process works requires a dyad-centered approach. In this chapter, we first review key tenets of attachment theory and the two primary forms of attachment insecurity (anxiety and avoidance). We then discuss the Dyadic Regulation of Attachment Insecurity Model, which outlines how and why certain types of buffering behaviors should soothe the worries and improve the relationship perceptions and behaviors of highly anxious and highly avoidant people. Following this, we discuss recent studies that illustrate some of the ways in which partners can successfully buffer the insecure reactions of highly anxious and highly avoidant individuals and how they can develop and maintain more “secure” environments. We conclude by suggesting future studies that might extend these recent findings and compare our model with some of the core concepts of Emotion-Focused Therapy.

Keywords

Partner bufferingattachment theoryinterdependence theorysupport matchingEmotion-Focused Therapy
Type
Chapter
Information
Interdependence, Interaction, and Close Relationships , pp. 144 - 159
Publisher: Cambridge University Press
Print publication year: 2020

Access options

Get access to the full version of this content by using one of the access options below. (Log in options will check for institutional or personal access. Content may require purchase if you do not have access.)

References

Ainsworth, M. D. S., Blehar, M. C., Waters, E., & Wall, S. (1978). Patterns of Attachment: A Psychological Study of the Strange Situation. Oxford: Lawrence Erlbaum.Google Scholar
Arriaga, X. B., Kumashiro, M., Finkel, E. J., VanderDrift, L. E., & Luchies, L. B. (2014). Filling the void: Bolstering attachment security in committed relationships. Social Psychological and Personality Science, 5, 398–406. doi:10.1177/1948550613509287Google Scholar
Arriaga, X. B., Kumashiro, M., Simpson, J. A., & Overall, N. C. (2018). Revising working models across time: Relationship situations that enhance attachment security. Personality and Social Psychology Review, 22, 71–96. doi:10.1177/1088868317705257CrossRefGoogle ScholarPubMed
Bartholomew, K. & Horowitz, L. M. (1991). Attachment styles among young adults: A test of a four-category model. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 61, 226–244. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.61.2.226Google Scholar
Beck, L. A., Pietromonaco, P. R., DeBuse, C. J., Powers, S. I., & Sayer, A. G. (2013). Spouses’ attachment pairings predict neuroendocrine, behavioral, and psychological responses to marital conflict. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 105, 388–424. doi:10.1037/a0033056Google Scholar
Bowlby, J. (1969). Attachment and Loss: Vol. 1: Attachment. New York: Basic Books.Google Scholar
Bowlby, J. (1973). Attachment and Loss: Vol. 2: Separation. New York: Basic Books.Google Scholar
Bowlby, J. (1980). Attachment and Loss: Vol. 3: Loss. New York: Basic Books.Google Scholar
Bowlby, J. (1988). A Secure Base: Clinical Applications of Attachment Theory. London: Routledge.Google Scholar
Carnelley, K. B. & Rowe, A. C. (2007). Repeated priming of attachment security influences later views of self and relationships. Personal Relationships, 14, 307–320. doi:10.1111/j.1475-6811.2007.00156.xGoogle Scholar
Christensen, A. (1988). Dysfunctional interaction patterns in couples. In Noller, P., & Fitzpatrick, M. A. (Eds.), Perspectives on Marital Interaction (pp. 31–52). Clevedon: Multilingual Matters.Google Scholar
Collins, N. L. & Read, S. J. (1990). Adult attachment, working models, and relationship quality in dating couples. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 58, 644–663. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.58.4.644Google Scholar
Downey, G., Freitas, A. L., Michaelis, B., & Khouri, H. (1998). The self-fulfilling prophecy in close relationships: Rejection sensitivity and rejection by romantic partners. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 75, 545–560. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.75.2.545CrossRefGoogle ScholarPubMed
Farrell, A. K., Simpson, J. A., Overall, N. C., & Shallcross, S. L. (2016). Buffering the responses of avoidantly attached romantic partners in strain test situations. Journal of Family Psychology, 30, 580–591. doi:10.1037/fam0000186Google Scholar
Gillath, O. & Karantzas, G. (2019). Attachment security priming: A systematic review. Current Opinion in Psychology, 25, 86–95. doi:10.1016/j.copsyc.2018.03.001Google Scholar
Girme, Y. U., Overall, N. C., Simpson, J. A., & Fletcher, G. J. O. (2015). “All or nothing”: Attachment avoidance and the curvilinear effects of partner support. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 108, 450–475. doi:10.1037/a0038866Google Scholar
Hudson, N. W. & Fraley, R. C. (2018). Moving toward greater security: The effects of repeatedly priming attachment security and anxiety. Journal of Research in Personality, 74, 147–157. doi:10.1016/j.jrp.2018.04.002Google Scholar
Jakubiak, B. K. & Feeney, B. C. (2016). A sense of security: Touch promotes state attachment security. Social Psychological and Personality Science, 7, 745–753. doi:10.1177/1948550616646427Google Scholar
Johnson, S. (2004). The Practice of Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy (1st/2nd ed.). New York: Brunner-Routledge.Google Scholar
Johnson, S. C., Dweck, C. S., & Chen, F. S. (2007). Evidence for infants’ internal working models of attachment. Psychological Science, 18, 501–502. doi:10.1111/j.1467-9280.2007.01929.xGoogle Scholar
Lemay, E. P. Jr. & Clark, M. S. (2008). “Walking on eggshells”: How expressing relationship insecurities perpetuates them. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 95, 420–441. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.95.2.420CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Lemay, E. P. Jr. & Dudley, K. L. (2011). Caution: Fragile! Regulating the interpersonal security of chronically insecure partners. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 100, 681–702. doi:10.1037/a0021655Google Scholar
Little, K. C., McNulty, J. K., & Russell, V. M. (2010). Sex buffers intimates against the negative implications of attachment insecurity. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 36, 484–498. doi:10.1177/0146167209352494CrossRefGoogle ScholarPubMed
Main, M., Kaplan, N., & Cassidy, J. (1985). Security in infancy, childhood, and adulthood: A move to the level of representation. Monographs of the Society for Research in Child Development, 50, 66–104. doi:10.2307/3333827Google Scholar
Mikulincer, M. & Shaver, P. R. (2003). The attachment behavioral system in adulthood: Activation, psychodynamics, and interpersonal processes. In Zanna, M. (Ed.), Advances in Experimental Social Psychology (Vol. 35). New York: Academic Press.Google Scholar
Mikulincer, M. & Shaver, P. R. (2007). Attachment in Adulthood: Structure, Dynamics, and Change. New York: Guilford Press.Google Scholar
Moser, M. B., Johnson, S. M., Dalgleish, T. L., Lafontaine, M., Wiebe, S. A., & Tasca, G. A. (2016). Changes in relationship-specific attachment in emotionally focused couple therapy. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 42, 231–245. doi:10.1111/jmft.12139Google Scholar
Overall, N. C. & Simpson, J. A. (2015). Attachment and dyadic regulation processes. Current Opinion in Psychology, 1, 61–66. doi:10.1016/j.copsyc.2014.11.008Google Scholar
Overall, N. C., Simpson, J. A., & Struthers, H. (2013). Buffering attachment-related avoidance: Softening emotional and behavioral defenses during conflict discussions. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 104, 854–871. doi:10.1037/a0031798Google Scholar
Pietromonaco, P. R. & Carnelley, K. B. (1994). Gender and working models of attachment: Consequences for perceptions of self and romantic relationships. Personal Relationships, 1, 63–82. doi:10.1111/j.1475-6811.1994.tb00055.xGoogle Scholar
Pietromonaco, P. R. & Feldman Barrett, L. (1997). Working models of attachment and daily social interactions. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 73, 1409–1423. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.73.6.1409Google Scholar
Rusbult, C. E., Verette, J., Whitney, G. A., Slovik, L. F., & Lipkus, I. (1991). Accommodation processes in close relationships: Theory and preliminary empirical evidence. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 60, 53–78. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.60.1.53Google Scholar
Simpson, J. A. & Overall, N. C. (2014). Partner buffering of attachment insecurity. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 23, 54–59. doi:10.1177/0963721413510933CrossRefGoogle ScholarPubMed
Simpson, J. A. & Rholes, W. S. (1994). Stress and secure base relationships in adulthood: Attachment processes in adulthood. In Bartholomew, K. & Perlman, D. (Eds.), Advances in Personal Relationships: Attachment Processes in Adulthood (Vol. 5, pp. 181–204). London: Kingsley.Google Scholar
Simpson, J. A. & Rholes, W. S. (2012). Adult attachment orientations, stress, and romantic relationships. Advances in Experimental Social Psychology, 45, 279–328. doi:10.1016/B978-0-12-394286-9.00006-8Google Scholar
Simpson, J. A. & Rholes, W. S. (2017). Adult attachment, stress, and romantic relationships. Current Opinion in Psychology, 13, 19–24. doi:10.1016/j.copsyc.2016.04.006CrossRefGoogle ScholarPubMed
Simpson, J. A., Rholes, W. S., & Nelligan, J. S. (1992). Support seeking and support giving within couples in an anxiety-provoking situation: The role of attachment styles. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 62, 434–446. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.62.3.434Google Scholar
Simpson, J. A., Winterheld, H. A., Rholes, W. S., & Oriña, M. M. (2007). Working models of attachment and reactions to different forms of caregiving from romantic partners. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 93, 466–477. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.93.3.466Google Scholar
Sroufe, L. A. & Waters, E. (1977). Attachment as an organizational construct. Child Development, 48, 1184–1199. doi:10.2307/1128475CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Tran, S. & Simpson, J. A. (2009). Prorelationship maintenance behaviors: The joint roles of attachment and commitment. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 97, 685–698. doi:10.1037/a0016418CrossRefGoogle ScholarPubMed
Van Lange, P. A. M., Rusbult, C. E., Drigotas, S. M., Arriaga, X. B., Witcher, B. S., & Cox, C. L. (1997). Willingness to sacrifice in close relationships. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 72, 1373–1395. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.72.6.1373Google Scholar
Wieselquist, J., Rusbult, C. E., Foster, C. A., & Agnew, C. R. (1999). Commitment, pro-relationship behavior, and trust in close relationships. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 77, 942–966. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.77.5.942Google Scholar

Save book to Kindle

To save this book to your Kindle, first ensure no-reply@cambridge.org is added to your Approved Personal Document E-mail List under your Personal Document Settings on the Manage Your Content and Devices page of your Amazon account. Then enter the ‘name’ part of your Kindle email address below. Find out more about saving to your Kindle.

Note you can select to save to either the @free.kindle.com or @kindle.com variations. ‘@free.kindle.com’ emails are free but can only be saved to your device when it is connected to wi-fi. ‘@kindle.com’ emails can be delivered even when you are not connected to wi-fi, but note that service fees apply.

Find out more about the Kindle Personal Document Service.

Available formats
×

Save book to Dropbox

To save content items to your account, please confirm that you agree to abide by our usage policies. If this is the first time you use this feature, you will be asked to authorise Cambridge Core to connect with your account. Find out more about saving content to Dropbox.

Available formats
×

Save book to Google Drive

To save content items to your account, please confirm that you agree to abide by our usage policies. If this is the first time you use this feature, you will be asked to authorise Cambridge Core to connect with your account. Find out more about saving content to Google Drive.

Available formats
×