1 - The Adult-Child

Summary

In Chapter 1, based on the notion of emerging adulthood, we define adult entrenched dependence as a failure to emerge. Children’s dependence on their parents can be characterized as functional or dysfunctional. We propose ways to differentiate between the two. We clarify that the goal of our approach is not fostering "independence" (which we view as a rather problematic goal) but helping transform dysfunctional into functional dependence. The main changes we try to promote are: (a) developing a time perspective that allows parents to strive for better functioning; (b) helping parents transition from personal effacement into presence; (c) releasing parents from their "sacrifice mentality" in favor of recommitment to wellness; (d) helping parents counter the adult-child's entitlement; and (e) identifying and resisting various forms of violence, blackmail and exploitation.