33 - Managing expectations and achieving realism: the individual journey from hope to closure

Summary

Childlessness is becoming more common and it is estimated that around one in five women of childbearing age will not have children in the UK. The average age of a woman giving birth is 29 years and, as more women delay motherhood, either until they feel ready or until they meet the right partner, the risk of leaving it too late to conceive grows.

Fertility treatment is often seen as a solution for older women who want children of their own. Of course, no one wants to have treatment in order to conceive but, if getting pregnant naturally is not easy, fertility treatment is seen as a way to overcome this. It is too frequently assumed that anyone who can afford treatment and who perseveres will eventually have a child of their own.

We hear very little about in vitro fertilisation (IVF) failure. The Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority publishes IVF success rates and there is rarely any focus on the fact that the current average success rate, which is not far above 20% per cycle, means that more than 75% of cycles will fail. Cumulative success rates suggest that many more couples will succeed if they can continue with treatment but not everyone will be able to afford this financially or emotionally.

Unrealistic expectations

Despite the igures, the idea that IVF can beat the biological clock remains, and fertility treatment is often seen as a solution for having left it ‘too late’ to conceive naturally.