9 - Extending the marital norm

Summary

The argument of the book has extended marriage to couples who live together with the intention to become formally married. The ‘marital norm’ has been defended and re-commended at a time when the church's marital teaching is under severe pressure. The final task of the book is to suggest that the solution proffered to the problem of prenuptial cohabitation, i.e., the extension of the marital norm, may be able also to be deployed as a solution to the problem of some other sexual relationships which trouble the churches at the present time. Armed with the now familiar distinction between norms and rules in Christian teaching, a very brief description of how the marital norm might be further extended will be attempted. How might this norm illuminate a Christian understanding of the sexual behaviour of, say, the following groups of people: (i) adolescents and young unmarried adults; (ii) postmarried people; (iii) lesbian and gay partners?

ADOLESCENTS AND YOUNG UNMARRIED ADULTS

The distinction between a norm and a rule might illuminate sexual behaviour in these age groups by treating marriage as a norm to aspire to, rather than a rule that ‘rules out’ sexual activity in all relationships other than marriage. Since all practical learning these days proceeds experientially, some premarital sexual experience may be a welcome means towards the acquisition of both self-knowledge, and the practical knowledge needed for the maintenance of lifelong marriage.