Hostname: page-component-cd9895bd7-dzt6s Total loading time: 0 Render date: 2024-12-28T00:33:14.817Z Has data issue: false hasContentIssue false
  • English
  • Français

It Hurts to Let You Go: Characteristics of Romantic Relationships, Breakups and the Aftermath Among Emerging Adults

Published online by Cambridge University Press:  31 August 2016

Charlene F. Belu ,
Brenda H. Lee  and
Lucia F. O'Sullivan
Charlene F. Belu*
Affiliation:
Department of Psychology, University of New Brunswick, Canada
Brenda H. Lee
Affiliation:
Department of Psychology, University of New Brunswick, Canada
Lucia F. O'Sullivan
Affiliation:
Department of Psychology, University of New Brunswick, Canada
*
ADDRESS FOR CORRESPONDENCE: Charlene Belu, Department of Psychology, University of New Brunswick, P.O. Box 4400, Fredericton, New Brunswick, CanadaE3B 5A3. Email: c.belu@unb.ca
Get access

Abstract

Relationship breakups are common (Connolly & McIsaac, 2009), and difficulty adjusting to the breakup can manifest as post-relationship contact and tracking (PRCT; Lee & O'Sullivan, 2014). Emerging adults (n = 271; aged 18–25; 66% female) provided reports of PRCT after their most recent breakup in the previous year. We examined relationship and breakup characteristics to predict the use of and experience of PRCT. Logistic regression analyses revealed that ex-partner initiation of the breakup and a more intense breakup predicted the use of PRCT, and ex-partner's surprise regarding the breakup predicted being a target of PRCT. A between-subjects comparison of participants who either used or experienced PRCT reported similar impact of PRCT on the self or their ex-partner. However, participants who both used and experienced PRCT reported that the impact that an ex-partner's PRCT had on their lives was more negative than their use of PRCT had on their ex-partner's life, likely reflecting an actor-observer bias in reports. Difficulty adjusting to relationship breakup is normal, and predictive of attempts to remain in contact with an ex-partner. However, the seemingly benign form of contact can have a negative impact on individuals. The findings have implications for those counselling individuals in distress following a breakup, and contribute to the discourse around boundaries after a breakup.

Keywords

romantic relationshipsbreakupsstalkingcyberstalkingtracking
Type
Research Article
Information
Journal of Relationships Research , Volume 7 , 2016 , e11
Copyright
Copyright © The Author(s) 2016 

Access options

Get access to the full version of this content by using one of the access options below. (Log in options will check for institutional or personal access. Content may require purchase if you do not have access.)

References

Amar, A.F. (2006). College women's experience of stalking: Mental health symptoms and changes in routines. Archives of Psychiatric Nursing, 20, 108–116. doi:10.1016/j.apnu.2005.10.003 Google Scholar
Arnett, J.J. (2000). Emerging adulthood: A theory of development from the late teens through the early twenties. American Psychologist, 55, 469–80. Retrieved from http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/0003-066X.55.5.469 CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Arnett, J.J. (2004). Emerging adulthood: The winding road from the late teens through the twenties. New York, NY: Oxford University Press.Google Scholar
Arnett, J.J. (2005). The developmental context of substance use in emerging adulthood. Journal of Drug Issues, 35, 235–253. doi:10.1177/002204260503500202 CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Attridge, M., Berscheid, E., & Simpson, J.A. (1995). Predicting relationship stability from both partners versus one. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 69, 254–268. Retrieved from http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.69.2.254 Google Scholar
Baum, K., Catalano, S., Rand, M., & Rose, K. (2009). Stalking victimization in the United States. (NCJ Report No. 224527). Retrieved from Bureau of Justice Statistics website: https://www.victimsofcrime.org/docs/src/baum-k-catalano-s-rand-m-rose-k-2009.pdf?sfvrsn=0 Google Scholar
Baumeister, R.F., Wotman, S.R., & Stillwell, A.M. (1993). Unrequited love: On heartbreak, anger, guilt, scriptlessness, and humiliation. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 64, 377–394. Retrieved from http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.64.3.377 CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Blaauw, E., Winkel, F.W., Arensman, E., Sheridan, L., & Freeve, A. (2002). The toll of stalking the relationship between features of stalking and psychopathology of victims. Journal of Interpersonal Violence, 17, 50–63. doi:10.1177/0886260502017001004 Google Scholar
Braithwaite, S.R., Delevi, R., & Fincham, F.D. (2010). Romantic relationships and the physical and mental health of college students. Personal Relationships, 17, 1–12. doi:10.1111/j.1475-6811.2010.01248.x CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Booth-Kewley, S., Larson, G.E., & Miyoshi, D.K. (2007). Social desirability effects on computerized and paper-and-pencil questionnaires. Computers in Human Behavior, 23, 463–477. doi:10.1016/j.chb.2004.10.020 Google Scholar
Bowe, G. (2010). Reading romance: The impact Facebook rituals can have on a romantic relationship. Journal of Comparative Research in Anthropology and Sociology, 1, 61–77.Google Scholar
Catalano, S. (2012). Stalking victims in the United States — Revised. (NCJ Report No. 224547). Washington, DC: U.S. Department of Justice. Retrieved from http://www.bjs.gov/content/pub/pdf/svus_rev.pdf Google Scholar
Connolly, J., & McIsaac, C. (2009). Adolescents’ explanations for romantic dissolutions: A developmental perspective. Journal of Adolescence, 32, 1209–1223. doi:10.1016/j.adolescence.2009.01.006 Google Scholar
Crowne, D.P., & Marlowe, D. (1964). The approval motive. New York, NY: Wiley Google Scholar
Cutler, D.M., Glaeser, E.L., & Norberg, N.E. (2001). Explaining the rise in youth suicide. In Gruber, J. (Ed.), Risky behavior among youths: An economic analysis (pp. 219–270). Chicago, IL: University of Chicago Press.Google Scholar
Davis, K.E., Ace, A., & Andra, M. (2000). Stalking perpetrators and psychological maltreatment of partners: Anger-jealousy, attachment insecurity, need for control, and breakup context. Violence and Victims, 15, 407–425.Google Scholar
Dressing, H., Bailer, H., Anders, A., Wagner, H., & Gallas, C. (2014). Cyberstalking in a large sample of social network users: Prevalence characteristics, and impact upon victims. Cyberpsychology, Behavior and Social Networking, 17, 61–67. doi:10.1089/cyber.2012.0231 CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Dhariwal, A., Connolly, J., Paciello, M., & Caprara, G.V. (2009). Adolescent peer relationships and emerging adult romantic styles: A longitudinal study of youth in an Italian community. Journal of Adolescent Research, 24, 579–600. doi:10.1177/0743558409341080 Google Scholar
Duck, S. (1982). A topography of relationship disengagement and dissolution. In Duck, S. (Ed.), Personal relationships 4: Dissolving personal relationships (pp. 1–30). London, UK: Academic Press.Google Scholar
Dutton, L.B., & Winstead, B.A. (2006). Predicting unwanted pursuit: Attachment, relationship satisfaction, relationship alternatives, and break-up distress. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 23, 585–586. doi:10.1177/0265407506065984 CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Erickson, E.H. (1982). The life cycle completed: A review. New York, NY: Norton.Google Scholar
Espelage, D.L., & De La Rue, L. (2013). Examining predictors of bullying and sexual violence perpetration among middle school female students. In Russell, B.L. (Ed.), Perceptions of female offenders: How stereotypes and social norms affect criminal justice responses (pp. 25–45). New York, NY: Springer.Google Scholar
Fine, M.A., & Sacher, J.A. (1997). Predictors of distress following relationship termination among dating couples. Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology, 16, 381–388. doi:10.1521/jscp.1997.16.4.381 CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Finn, J. (2004). A survey of online harassment at a university campus. Journal of Interpersonal Violence, 19, 468–483. doi:10.1177/0886260503262083 CrossRefGoogle ScholarPubMed
Fordwood, S.R. (2007). Suicide attempts among depressed adolescents in primary care. Journal of Clinical Child and Adolescent Psychology, 36, 392–404. doi:10.1080/15374410701444355 CrossRefGoogle ScholarPubMed
Fox, J., & Tokunaga, R.S. (2015). Romantic partner monitoring after breakups: Attachment, dependence, distress, and post-dissolution online surveillance via social networking sites. Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking, 18, 491–498. doi:10.1089/cyber.2015.0123 CrossRefGoogle ScholarPubMed
Frick, A., Bachtiger, M.T., & Reips, U-D. (2001). Financial incentives, personal information and drop-out in online studies. In Reips, U.-D. & Bosnjak, M. (Eds.), Dimensions of internet science (pp. 209–219). Lengerich, Germany: Pabst Science Publishers.Google Scholar
Haller, M., & Hadler, M. (2006). How social relations and structures can produce happiness and unhappiness: An international comparative analysis. Social Indicators Research, 75, 169–216. doi:10.1007/s11205-004-6297-y CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Imber-Black, E. (2007). Reflections on the special issue: Divorce and its aftermath. Family Process, 46, 1–2. doi:10.1111/j.1545-5300.2006.00186.x Google Scholar
Joinson, A.N. (2007). Disinhibition and the internet . In Gackenback, J. (Ed.), Psychology and the internet: Intrapersonal, interpersonal, and transpersonal implications (pp. 76–90). San Diego, CA: Academic Press.Google Scholar
Kamp Dush, C.M., & Amato, P. (2005). Consequences of relationship status and quality for subjective well-being. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 22, 607–628. doi:10.1177/0265407505056438 CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Kuehner, C., Gass, P., & Dressing, H. (2007). Increased risk of mental disorders among lifetime victims of stalking–Findings from a community study. European Psychiatry, 22, 142–145. doi:10.1016/j.eurpsy.2006.09.004 CrossRefGoogle ScholarPubMed
Langhinrichsen-Rohling, J., Palerea, R.E., Cohen, J., & Rohling, M. (2000). Breaking up is hard to do: Unwanted pursuit behaviors following dissolution of a romantic relationship. Violence and Victims, 15, 73–90.CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Lee, B.H., & O'Sullivan, L.F. (2014). The ex-factor: Characteristics of online and offline post-relationship contact and tracking among Canadian emerging adults. The Canadian Journal of Human Sexuality, 23, 96–105. Retrieved from http://dx.doi.org/10.3138/cjhs.2415 Google Scholar
Lyndon, A., Bonds-Raacke, J., & Cratty, A.D. (2011). College students’ Facebook stalking of ex-partners. Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking, 14, 711–716. doi:10.1089/ cyber.2010.0588 CrossRefGoogle ScholarPubMed
Marshall, T.C. (2012). Facebook surveillance of former romantic partners: Associations with postbreakup recovery and personal growth. Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking, 15, 521–526. doi:10.1089/cyber.2012.0125 Google Scholar
Meirer, A., & Allen, G. (2008). Intimate relationship development during the transition to adulthood: Differences by social class. New Directions for Child and Adolescent Development, 119, 25–39. doi:10.1002/cd.207 Google Scholar
Meloy, J.R. (1998). The psychology of stalking: Clinical and forensic perspectives. San Diego, CA: Academic Press.Google Scholar
Monroe, S.M., Rohde, P., Seeley, J.R., & Lewinsohn, P.M. (1999). Life events and depression in adolescence: relationship loss as a prospective risk factor for first onset of major depressive disorder. Journal of Abnormal Psychology, 108 (4), 606–614. Retrieved from http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/0021-843X.108.4.606 Google Scholar
Montgomery, M.J. (2005). Psychosocial intimacy and identity: From early adolescence to emerging adulthood. Journal of Adolescent Research, 20, 346–374. doi:10.1177/0743558404273118 Google Scholar
Mullen, P.E., Pathé, M., & Purcell, R. (2009). Stalkers and their victims. Cambridge, UK: Cambridge University Press.Google Scholar
Mullen, P.E., Pathé, M. Purcell, R., & Stuart, G.W. (1999). Study of stalkers. American Journal of Psychiatry, 156, 1244–1249.Google Scholar
Paulhus, D.L. (1991). Measurement and control of response bias. In Robinson, J.P., Shaver, P.R., & Wrightsman, L.S. (Eds.), Measures of personality and social psychological attitudes (pp. 17–59). San Diego, CA: Academic Press.Google Scholar
Priest, J., Burnett, M., Thompson, R., Vogel, A., & Schvaneveldt, P. (2009). Relationship dissolution and romance and mate selection myths. Family Science Review, 14, 48–57.Google Scholar
Reyns, B.W., Henson, B., & Fisher, B.S. (2012). Stalking in the twilight zone: Extent of cyberstalking victimization and offending among college students. Deviant Behavior, 33, 1–25.Google Scholar
Rhoades, G.K., Kamp Dush, C.M., Atkins, D.C., Stanley, S.M., & Markman, H.J. (2011). Breaking up is hard to do: The impact of unmarried relationship dissolution on mental health and life satisfaction. Journal of Family Psychology, 25, 366–374. doi:10.1037/a0023627 CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Rhoades, G.K., Stanley, S.M., & Markman, H.J. (2010). Should I stay or should I go? Predicting dating relationship stability from four aspects of commitment. Journal of Family Psychology, 24, 543–550. doi:10.1037/a0021008 CrossRefGoogle ScholarPubMed
Ross, C.E. (1995). Reconceptualizing marital status as a continuum of social attachment. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 57, 129–140. doi:10.2307/353822 Google Scholar
Rusbult, C.E. (1980). Commitment and satisfaction in romantic associations: A test of the investment model. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 60, 53–78. doi:10.1016/0022-1031(80)90007-4 Google Scholar
Saunders, D.M., Fisher, W.A., Hewitt, E.C., & Clayton, J.P. (1985). A method for empirically assessing volunteer selection effects: Recruitment procedures and responses to erotica Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 49, 1703–1712.CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Sbarra, D.A., & Emery, R.E. (2005). The emotional sequelae of nonmarital relationship dissolution: Analysis of change and intraindividual variability over time. Personal Relationships, 12, 213–232. doi:10.1111/j.1350-4126.2005.00112.x Google Scholar
Sedikides, C., Oliver, M.B., & Campbell, W.K. (1994). Perceived benefits and costs of romantic relationships for women and men: Implications for exchange theory. Personal Relationships, 1, 5–21. doi:10.1111/j.1475-6811.1994.tb00052.x Google Scholar
Sheridan, L.P., Blaauw, E., & Davies, G.M. (2003). Stalking knowns and unknowns. Trauma, Violence, & Abuse, 4, 148–162. doi:10.1177/152483800225076 Google Scholar
Sheridan, L.P., & Grant, T. (2007). Is cyberstalking different? Psychology, Crime & Law, 13, 627–640. doi:10.1080/10683160701340528 Google Scholar
Simpson, J.A. (1987). The dissolution of romantic relationships: Factors involved in relationship stability and emotional distress. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 53, 683–692. Retrieved from http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.53.4.683 CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Spitzberg, B.H. (2002). The tactical topography of stalking victimization and management. Trauma, Violence, & Abuse, 3, 261–288. doi:10.1177/152483802237330 Google Scholar
Spitzberg, B.H., & Cupach, W.R. (2007). The state of the art of stalking: Taking stock of the emerging literature. Aggression and Violent Behavior, 12, 64–86. doi:10.1016/j.avb.2006.05. 001 Google Scholar
Sprecher, S. (1994). Two sides to the breakup of dating relationships. Personal relationships, 1, 199–222. doi:10.1111/j.1475-6811.1994.tb00062.x CrossRefGoogle Scholar
Sprecher, S., Felmlee, D., Metts, S., Fehr, B., & Vanni, D. (1998). Factors associated with distress following the breakup of a close relationship. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 15, 791–809. doi:10.1177/0265407598156005 Google Scholar
Stanley, S.M., Rhoades, G.K., & Markman, H.J. (2006). Sliding vs. deciding: Inertia and the premarital cohabitation effect. Family Relations, 55, 499–509. doi:10.1111/j.1741-3729.2006.00418.x Google Scholar
Tabachnick, B.G., & Fidell, L.S. (2007). Using multivariate statistics (5th ed.). Boston, MN: Pearson Education.Google Scholar
Tassey, F., & Winstead, B. (2014). Relationship and individual characteristics as predictors of unwanted pursuit. Journal of Family Violence, 29, 187–195. doi:10.1007/s10896-013-9573-2 Google Scholar
Tolman, D.L. (2002). Dilemmas of desire: Teenage girls talk about sexuality. Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press.Google Scholar
Tourangeau, R. (2004). Survey research and societal change. Annual Review of Psychology, 55, 775–801.Google Scholar
Waite, L.J., & Gallagher, M. (2000). The case for marriage. New York, NY: Doubleday.Google Scholar
Wegner, R., Abbey, A., Pierce, J., Pegram, S.E., & Woerner, J. (2015). Sexual assault perpetrators’ justifications for their actions: Relationships to rape supportive attitudes, incident characteristics, and future perpetration. Violence Against Women, 21, 1018–1037. doi:10.1177/1077801215589380 Google Scholar
Weiss, R. (1975). Marital separation. New York, NY: Basic Books.Google Scholar
Wieselquist, J. Rusbult, C.E., Foster, C.A., & Agnew, C.R. (1999). Commitment, pro-relationship behavior, and trust in close relationships. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 77, 942–966. Retrieved from http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.77.5.942 Google Scholar
Westrup, D., Fremouw, W.J., Thompson, R.N., & Lewis, S.F. (1999). The psychological impact of stalking on female undergraduates. Journal of Forensic Science, 44, 554–557.Google Scholar
Wood, R.G., Avellar, S., & Goesling, B. (2008). Pathways to adulthood and marriage: Teenagers’ attitudes, expectations, and relationship patterns (Reference No. 6306-005). Washington, DC: US Department of Health and Human Services. Retrieved from http://aspe.hhs.gov/legacy-page/pathways-adulthood-and-marriage-teenagers-attitudes-expectations-and-relationship-patterns-main-page-143591 Google Scholar