For almost 150 years, megascopic structures in siliciclastic sequences of terminal Precambrian age have been frustratingly difficult to characterize and classify. As with all other areas of human knowledge, progress with exploration, documentation and understanding is growing at an exponential rate. Nevertheless, there is much to be learned from following the evolution of the logic behind the biological interpretations of these enigmatic fossils. Here, I review the history of discovery as well as some long-established core members of widely recognized clades that are still difficult to graft on to the tree of life. These ‘orphan plesions’ occupy roles that were once held by famous former Problematica, such as archaeocyaths, graptolites and rudist bivalves. In some of those cases, taxonomic enlightenment was brought about by the discovery of new characters; in others it required a better knowledge of their living counterparts. Can we use these approaches to rescue the Ediacaran orphans? Five taxa that are examined in this context are Arborea (Arboreomorpha), Dickinsonia (Dickinsoniomorpha), Pteridinium plus Ernietta (Erniettomorpha) and Kimberella (Bilateria?). With the possible exception of Dickinsonia, all of these organisms may be coelenterate grade eumetazoans.