Spousal caregivers are the most vulnerable of all caregivers to the stresses associated with the caregiving role, yet they are the least likely of all caregivers to utilize formal support services. This low use of services is poorly understood. To develop insight into this issue, this qualitative study explored how spousal caregivers made sense of the personal experience of living with a memory-impaired partner. The goal was to better understand the interface between this personal experience and the use of formal support services. Information was gathered through the use of unstructured interviews with 14 spouses, most of whom had turned down available formal support services. Analysis of their transcripts revealed the availability of four discourses, or story-lines, for framing the experience. These included two competing story-lines which were used to structure individuals' caring activities and two other competing story-lines which provided the framework for judging one's personal competence within the experience. This paper examines these four discourses and highlights how each influences the meaning associated with the use of formal support services. This analysis makes visible the multiple and sometimes contradictory meanings that service use may have for spouses caring for a memory-impaired partner.