7 - Ethnic matching

Summary

“Why did I have to look the way I did – like a foreigner; like my birth parents, two people I would never even meet? Why hadn't my adoption transformed me into the person I felt I was?”

Nicole Chung

“I believe that races are social categories, and no less real for being social rather than ‘natural’.”

Sally Haslanger

Nicholas has been shouting racist abuse off and on since he arrived at Drummond Hall and shows no sign of stopping. He has been diagnosed as autistic and presents with “demand avoidance”, which is to say he doesn't respond well to demands such as “Don't say that, it's racist”. In fact, saying such things often makes him shout more loudly.

The on-going abuse is upsetting for everyone, especially the racially minoritized children. Like other staff members, I have needed to talk to the students about anti-Black hate speech, to challenge the racist language, and to dissuade the older children from taking things into their own hands. Once or twice, when the children have become “heightened”, we have had to separate them using holds. In these moments, when I’m talking about anti-Black racism or physically restraining a child, sometimes a Black child, I’m acutely aware of being a white (or white-passing) man. I have no lived experience of the force of anti-Black hate speech, and no lived experience of being restrained. I understand the need to prevent physical violence, but the situation is complex. The children recognize this complexity. They tell me I don't understand, that I’m part of the problem, and to a certain extent they’re right.

In a team meeting in my first year at the unit, my co-worker Wayne spoke about his experiences as a Black father. He talked about “the Talk”, the conversation Black parents feel compelled to have with their children to warn them about structural injustices they face, that Black children experience disproportionately high rates of exclusion in British schools and are over four times more likely than white children to be arrested.