2 - Rise Like a Phoenix

Summary

Jan starts her story with a dramatic description of a complicated pregnancy and birth that is followed by stress, breastfeeding problems and insomnia, and gradually develops into postnatal psychosis and a suicide attempt. She uses detailed day-to-day memories of the events. She is admitted to a psychiatric intensive care unit. Despite asking to have ECT, this treatment is not given to her. Eventually a combination of medications and the care from the country’s leading Mother and Baby Day Unit lead to a full recovery. Jan remains well for sixteen years despite giving birth to twin daughters in the interim. Seventeen years later, and seemingly out of the blue, Jan experienced a sudden and dramatic psychotic depression. The second half of this story follows Jan through her six months as a hospital inpatient and two suicide attempts. One night she escapes, crashes her car on the motorway and wanders without shoes on the hard shoulder. Eventually, a course of twelve sessions of ECT brings a quick recovery, which felt to Jan like a miracle. The chapters end with a description of a happy holiday with her children.