8 - Rituals of marriage

Summary

The very complexity of Durrani marriage ceremonies sets marriage apart in a culture whose lack of ritual elaboration is otherwise notable. The basic uniformity of the ceremonial procedure also seems to be an expression of the fundamental and monolithic place of marriage in Durrani society. However, though the sequence of rites, ceremonies and prestations is similar for all marriages, these may be elaborated or attenuated for various reasons. Indeed, any marriage may be qualified in ritual terms, and the numerous opportunities for the manipulation of status claims add an important dimension to the meaning of any Durrani marriage. As the Durrani are well aware, the interpretation of such ambiguities is important both to the construction of the affinal relationship and to the standing of the two households in the community as a whole.

Both formal and private ceremonies emphasize an ideal balance and equality between affines, while there are certain areas, especially in feasting and entertainment, where the wife-takers can improve upon their position of inherent superiority and make public statements about their standing in the community as a whole. Opportunities also exist, though on a more limited scale, for the wife-givers to maintain publicly the equality which is also an accepted interpretation of any marriage between Durrani households.