Author's Preface

Summary

These literary monologues can be read as a “book of histories,” or as a “book of upheaval”; they show how party-liners and dissidents, victims or fellow travelers deal with themselves and the world when the “system” they have fought for, tolerated, or fled from disappears.

But there was another reason why writing this book was so important to me. More than anything else, I was interested in certain questions: How was living a fulfilled, humane life made difficult, if not impossible, back then, and is it still the same today? How aware of this are we? And how does each individual deal with such things? What promises and hopes spur us on? In the final analysis, what will remain when we look back on it all?

Perhaps what happened to people when the country known as the German Democratic Republic disappeared can best be compared to a kind of collective heart attack that brought with it the chance of a new orientation, not only in the political and economic arenas, but even more in the areas of attitude and behavior. Which values and orientations that will not become useless overnight can and should determine my life? What meaning does my existence have for other people? To what do I devote my strengths, my energies, even my life?

The question of what remains of life and what that life means when the coordinates by which we have oriented ourselves or the antagonists against whom we have fought suddenly disappear is certainly justified at any time or place, but we are more likely to pose such a question in times of upheaval rather than in times of stagnation.

In this book we are dealing with nuances and shadings rather than superficial assessments. Perhaps the unspoken can crystallize behind the spoken, as can the various levels at which someone perceives, assesses, or makes decisions. At times, these were kept separate from one another; at others they clashed in an unexpectedly harsh manner. I saw it as my job to present the cracks, the inconsistencies, and the contradictions in the characters in such a way that any judgment on the part of the reader would not become too self-righteous — in such a way that he or she would be led towards a (perhaps even critical) self-examination.