Referencing relevant supervisory literature and attachment theory, this article presents a developmental couple and family therapy supervisory model that emphasises the efficacy of the supervisory relationship. Issues concerning anxiety, cognition and learning theory are addressed and phases in the supervisory process are identified and described. Cognitive, emotional and social development are linked to attachment theory and discussed in the supervisory context.

While supporting the need to make class and other forms of marginalisation more visible in the understanding of, and response to, domestic violence, this article argues that, domestic violence is ultimately a discursive phenomenon and that patriarchal discourse remains the fount of domestic violence. This conclusion was drawn after data from a qualitative study of 24 men, from different cultural groups (ethnic, religious, racial, age and class), who had used violence in an intimate heterosexual relationship was considered, alongside ethnographical accounts of societies in which domestic violence is deemed not to have occurred, or to have been minimal. Whereas egalitarian and respectful attitudes towards women are enshrined in the discourse and social institutions of tribes such as the Semai and Waorani, in which intimate partner violence was absent, the most overwhelming discovery of the qualitative study was that class and cultural differences, evident in an analysis of the men's narratives, seemed to be eclipsed by the preeminence and strength of gendered discourse, in keeping with Western patriarchal dictates.

The concept of self-soothing originating in the psychodynamic tradition has attracted interest from therapists as a key skill in the managing and regulating of strong affect and emotional discomfort. While a capacity for self-soothing is implicit in, and a vital prerequisite to, the process of differentiation, Murray Bowen also predicted that the outcome of increased differentiation is improved emotional equilibrium and a capacity for self-soothing, clearly a recursive process. The attention of Bowen family systems theory to both the relational and intrapsychic aspects of human functioning provides a useful framework through which to explore these aspects of the dynamics of self-soothing. This article describes some of the key processes involved in developing a self-soothing capacity within an effort to define a more autonomous self in significant relationships. The author contrasts Family Systems thinking with other theoretical perspectives that speak to the importance of self-soothing. Finally, the role of the therapist as a facilitator of an environment in which the self-soothing resources of clients can emerge is considered alongside suggestions and strategies for how a therapist may contribute to a client's own efforts.

An extraordinary case is presented. The father had been admitted to an emergency ward following stabbing by his first son. The son had become uncontrollable and used many substances, constantly, and reduced family life to a battle-ground with his mother. The two older boys were adopted, the third was miraculously conceived. In about ten sessions, the family's story was told in dramatic ways. Over twelve years later, the boys have become fathers and the grandparents are doting.

A challenge for contemporary family therapists is negotiating differences between modern and postmodern frameworks in the practice context. Modernists espouse a systemic metaphor, use evidence-based and interventive approaches, including strategic, structural- or solution-focused techniques, and believe in the therapist's knowledge, expertise and power to influence individuals or families to change. On the other hand, postmodernists follow a social constructionist, dialogical or narrative paradigm, which identifies the main ingredient of therapy as language, conversation, understanding and the therapist's ‘not knowing’ stance in eliciting a person's expertise and story. Yet many practitioners adopt a middle way between these paradigm polarities, one that is less theory-driven and more pragmatic, flexible, integrative and practice-based. This is consistent with evidence-based practice and research demonstrating common factors across all therapies. The value of preserving systemic thinking in family therapy is recognised while reaching forward to a postmodern social constructionist and dialogical approach. The article describes this integrative stance in family therapy as paramodern based on an ethics of practice. This is illustrated by a detailed case study of integrative family therapy, which addresses anxiety, anger and sleeping issues associated with a chronic childhood illness called Perthe's disease.